November 1, 2016 by Jeff Lowen
- You may be harder on yourself than anyone.
- There is power in what you think and say to yourself.
- You are in competition with no one.
- It doesn’t matter what others think of you.
- Practice embracing and mastering your own emotions.
If you buy into these five “rules,” or at the very least, some of them, then keep reading and prepare for a paradigm shift that will change your life!
1. You may be harder on yourself than anyone.
This is a common mantra among overachievers. Always striving for better, never quite measuring up to the standards they’ve set for themselves and finding themselves putting up with the guilt that comes along with it. Saying, “I’m harder on myself than anyone,” is like posting “the sky is blue” on Facebook and expecting it to be some sort of Nostradamus flavored prophecy! C’mon, of course, you set standards and expectations for yourself. Many times those standards are a little beyond your reach. That’s okay. However, just because you fall short of 10 million in sales this month is never a reason to beat yourself up about it. Acknowledging the ups and downs of the growth process and being thankful for the positive experience will get you so much further than ‘being hard on yourself.There is power in what you think and say to yourself.
2. There is power in what you think and say to yourself.
If you think you’re hard on yourself, then there’s probably an entire vocabulary of words and thoughts going on in your melon (the 6″ between your ears) that support this. Reinforcing why you fall short is like promoting peace by making better bullets. Try this exercise: For the next 7 days, either when you get up in the morning or right before you fall asleep, write down on a notepad all of the things in your life that upset you. Your shortcomings, things that other people do that make you mad, why you’re not doing better, your health problems, etc. Then, take note as to how you feel on day 7. Now, go wash it all off and for the next 7 days, do the same thing except write down all of the things that you’re thankful for. You’re alive, your warm bed, a hot cup of coffee, being employed, family… Take stock on day 7 and see which process made you feel better. Yeah, you don’t even have to do it to know the answer. There is so much good power in gratitude.
3. You are in competition with no one.
Ernest Hemingway once said, “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” If you are always looking over your shoulder to see what the competition is doing, you’ll lose focus on what you are creating for your own life. Be better today than you were yesterday. That’s what empowers you from within. If you’re too attached to outside or external events, i.e. your competition; then you’ll be influenced too heavily by their results. That’s not to say the result of your effort isn’t important, just to use it as feedback rather than influencing your emotions. Remember, it’s your party. Run it like you want, not how someone else would. Champions dominate. Everyone else competes.
4. It doesn’t matter what others think of you.
If you live your life by what others think of you, then you’re not really living your life, are you? No one is ‘self-made.’ You’ll need help from mentors, coaches, trainers, co-workers, clients and friends along the way. Using the perspectives of others to better define who you are is a choice. Living your life at the behest of others good or bad opinion of you is a prison. It’s your life. Live it on your terms.Practice embracing and mastering your own emotions.
5. Practice embracing and mastering your own emotions.
Possibly the most important of all is getting ahold of yourself emotionally. I speak with agents and business owners and people in general from all walks of life. They ‘get so offended when…’ Or, ‘hate it when that person does…’ The more you’re attached to the result or the outcome, the less control you have on yourself and your own emotions. No matter how much you think otherwise, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, said Eleanor Roosevelt. Spending countless hours on a life plan, business plan, or even a vacation plan is a waste of time if you’re so obsessed with the outcome that your inflexibility makes your life a living hell. It’s unfortunate that we don’t teach our children to acknowledge, embrace and manage their emotions. Then they grow up to be adults that try to follow their head and never their heart. Consider this image:
However, you can’t follow your heart if you don’t know how to embrace your emotions. Using them as a guide to better your perception and live in the forward, positive direction you were meant to; instead of allowing them to control you and subsequently managing your life by crisis… It’s really a no-brainer.
I’ve always believed the greatest journey one can embark upon is the journey to know yourself better. It’s a life long trip, too. Make this the focus of your ongoing life education and it will pay dividends in your relationships, business, and personal life.