December 13, 2016 by Jeff Lowen
One day, I woke up and asked, “How the heck did I get here?” Has that ever happened to you? Did you just realize one day that you were playing a role in the theater of life that you really didn’t expect?
Not expecting is one thing. Not wanting is an entirely different matter.
When you look around, what do you see? Is it what you imagine your life, your business, your social life and your financial situation to be? How come we weren’t taught at a young age how to master our own destiny? Or, were we and we just happened to be passing notes in class that day?
With so many options out there and available to us, with so many ‘gurus’ offering up the ‘best’ solution… The question, “How does one get control of his or her life,” is a confusing and overwhelming one. It seems so easy for someone to tell their story of trials and tribulation as they sit before you with what you perceive as the perfect life. Depending on where you are in your head at the time, this could be inspiring or downright offensive, and anything in between.
So, what’s the magic solution? Believe it or not, it’s quite plain and simple. We all know there’s no magic pill or super-secret answer that the Illuminati have been hoarding since the beginning of time. However, the solution is and has always been right here in front of us.
First off, we have to realize that there are deep seeded, core beliefs that have been handed down to us from generation to generation. I think everyone understands that. Yet, how often do you analyze these beliefs? In our society, we’re told that those who do so are the consummate over-thinkers and nothing good can come from that. Personally, after years of ‘coloring in the lines,’ listening to what others think I should do, following blindly; I learned how to stop sucking my thumb and I no longer needed diapers! Yeah, it hit me about 5 or 6, I was gonna do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it regardless of the consequences.
Perhaps I was a bit much – if you asked my parents and siblings, but now, I realize many people won’t break free from the mold, ever. We’re taught at a young age that we are broken, unworthy, imperfect and in need of someone or something to give us hope in this life or the next. Is it me, or is that just a foolish idea to con our children into believing?
We are taught humility is best. As defined by Webster: Humility is a modest or low view of one’s own importance. That’s just pathetic.
The following isn’t what I call a ‘better’ way; it is, however, another way. Try it and see what it does for you.
Tip #1 – Hey baby, take a walk on the wild side. As in the infamous words of the late Lou Reed. First off, you might do yourself well to come to grips with your uniqueness. You are not like any other – similarities, yes, but completely individual. Seems simple enough, right? Wait a minute, if that’s true then my thoughts are different too? Of course, they are. No one lives your life but you. No one has your exact view of the world, and that’s a very good thing.
Tip #2 – Realize your true beauty. The human being is an amazing thing. Whether you believe some omnipotent being has a laboratory and is currently spitting them out at 2 or 3 a second, or not, a human being is a wonderful creature. Self-supporting, self-aware, social, fastidious, and the list is as long as you can imagine. With that, however, comes the added responsibility that you are what you want you to be; so why not believe that you are beautiful? And, you are. You’re not broken, you don’t need ‘saving,’ you are worthy beyond measure. Toss humility out. Guilt is for sissies. You can boast your awesomeness AND be kind to one another, easily.
Tip #3 – Cry me a river. It’s funny how when something occurs that elicits a powerful emotion, we’re taught to suppress it. Sounds reasonable enough, right? Bottle it up and let it permeate until it blows up in the guise of alcohol, drugs, mood enhancers, and violence… Yeah, that’s a good idea. Not! Why do you think we even have emotions? It’s not some ‘deficiency’ of the human condition. It’s a sense, just like the five we know as sight, smell, touch, taste, and hearing. When an emotion comes to you, let it happen. Cry me a river, if the mood strikes you. In our society, it may not be good in a social setting, but don’t let that stop you. Your emotions are a useful tool in your life experience. Learn to accept and embrace them. For example, here’s Children Learn What They Live
by Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D. to show how emotions can be such an influence…
I know, you’re not a child anymore… Perhaps, you should be, at least a little.
Tip #4 – Focus on what you want. After hundreds, no… Thousands of conversations with business owners, professionals, and people from all walks of life, I’m firmly convinced that somehow we gravitate to the opposite, here. The question, “What do you want in your life?” begets the answer from what we don’t want. What’s up with that?? Energy flows where your attention goes, so what you think about comes about. If we’re just getting out of a relationship that was verbally abusive, we find ourselves telling ourselves what we want in the next one is someone who is not verbally abusive. Then we wonder why the same person keeps showing up! The world doesn’t play favorites. If you’re thinking of verbal abuse, whether you want it or not; that’s what shows up.
Have lethargic business results, and want something more? Keep your eyes on the benefits of why you’re in business in the first place. Keep your thoughts on the lifestyle you desire and if and when challenges occur, just understand that you are becoming; growing into the person that can be that.
Do you subject yourself or your children to movies and TV programs of violence, revenge, heartache, and rage? If you think these images aren’t affecting you, think again!
Tip #5 – Remember, everything counts. Every thought, every action, every moment in your life displays who you are. People may not be watching, but you’re there. What you think and do in every moment cries out to the world, of who you really are. Act as though everyone is watching you as you navigate this lovely human experience. Not from a guilt thing – Guilt is NOT a useful emotion. Fill that space with love and the guilt will melt away. If you want to be more confident, act it in every moment. If you want to see more success in your business, act and think how you; the successful you, would and you’ll be surprised how fast you become that.
Most of all, remember this is your life and you decide. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” said Eleanor Roosevelt. I remember once in my Dr. Wayne Dyer reading adventure, he said, “You don’t need it all, you are it all.” Think from that spot and you’ll find beautiful people, places, and things just appear and open up for you.