What’s That In Your Head?

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February 2, 2017 by Jeff Blaine Lowen

In the world of real estate… Better yet, in our world of real estate and beyond, we’ve created a society that prides itself on the training and education of skills for our craft. When I coach real estate agents, they want to know the next best thing to say or do, what Facebook ads are working the best, or the want the new, bright shiny, cutting edge listing presentation that will knock ’em out of the park.

Even in school, we’re teaching our children fact and figures, and the skills to become (as we currently believe it to be) smarter and ready for the “real” world. So it’s no surprise that when we grow up into adulthood, we’re on that same bus… The, “What can I learn” bus. To make more money, to have more stuff, to become wealthy, to live a better life, etc… Etc… Etc.

We’ve all heard of the Pareto Principle. Y’know, a.k.a. the 80–20 rule, the law of the vital few, and the principle of factor sparsity1. Stating that, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. Corporations, business, universities big and small read into this and it has become an accepted theory of the way life is.

Apparently, everyone is okay with this.

Would that mean that 20% of real estate agents do 80% of the work? Or, 80% of our kids in school are better off dropping out? When I hear this I can only think of a quote from a controversial Bill Maher when he said, “The only thing I dislike more than prophecy, is a self-fulfilling prophecy!”

It’s not hard to see the unnecessary obstacles put in place by knowing, whether subconsciously or consciously, that the odds are stacked against you before you even get started. I say unnecessary because after Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto published his first paper in 1896, not only did Vilfredo not know the impact this would have on our society over a century later, but all his findings were about who we were ~ and nothing about who we wanted to be.

Most if not all agents I coach, do not want to be more of who they were. Most want to be something more. I would say this is true for everyone. Sure we enjoy when we catch an epic breaker and ride the wave as long as we can, yet life is full of ups and downs, ebbs and flows and thinking whatever wave we’re on will last forever without jumping on the next one will surely find ourselves crashing in the sand.

In her book, What If It All Goes Right? Mindy Audlin teaches the foundational skills for conscious creation. Whether you want to experience romance, world travel, financial freedom, or simply an inner experience of greater peace and fulfillment, you’ll find the tools and the techniques to expand your inner world in a way that tangibly affects your outer reality.

What a great concept.

Skills are great to have, but aren’t we getting a mixed message? On one hand, we’re taught to master the skills and techniques and on the other, we’re impressed upon that it’s 90% attitude and 10% aptitude. Yet, there’s little education, especially for school age children; to master that attitude.

Start each day by asking yourself, what if I get that appointment? Or, what if moving to another area, or changing jobs turns out to be amazing? What if my business grows beyond anything I could imagine? What if it all goes right?

Ever heard someone say, “Expect the best, but prepare for the worst?” How can you do that? How can you expect one thing – really expect it, then do a complete 180° turn and ‘prepare’ for the worst? Talk about schizophrenia 101! Yet, these are exactly the messages that have become acceptable in our society today. No wonder 60% of us are on meds, according to the Washington Post.

Your mindset is an interesting animal. An old Native American proverb advocates it as being two wolves

Fortunately, there’s an idea that what you fill your head with tends to show up in your outer world. Here are some interesting facts about that…

  • The number of murders seen on TV by the time an average child finishes elementary school: 8,000 (Yes, cartoons and Disney movies count!)
  • Number of violent acts seen on TV by age 18: 200,000
  • 79% of Americans believe TV violence helps precipitate real life mayhem

So what are you filling your head with?

Sobering, yes. The point I’m making is to be aware of what you’re filling your head with, what you are telling others about yourself and what you tell yourself about yourself.

Are you speaking and thinking in terms of the way you were, or how you would like to become? If you look in your bank account and see bad news, just know that it’s not who you are, it’s who you were!

Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D. teaches us what to say when we talk to ourselves in,  What To Say When You Talk To Your Self. Personally, I think this would be a great class for elementary kids. So, if you didn’t read it then, get it now!

no-one-can-make-you-feel-inferiorI think we all can agree that if you want more from your life, or if you want to be ready to catch that next epic wave, then the status quo needs to be dissolved. It has to start with you. If not you, who? Who will impact your life the most besides yourself? It helps to surround yourself with ideas, information, and people that support and promote you in a way that keeps you living forward with a smile.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt


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